Last week, we announced the release of the second edition of Influencer: The New Science of Leading Change. For a sneak peak of the book, download the first chapter now.

This new edition includes:

• New subtitle
• Updated statistics, facts, and figures
• New research and case studies from organizations like KIPP, Menlo Innovations, Fundación Paraguaya, and others
• Skill applications gleaned from six years of Influencer Training
• “Act Like An Influencer” stories: twenty-five vignette examples of real influencers
• New focus on the three keys of influence: 1) Focus and measure, 2) Find vital behaviors, and 3) Engage all Six Sources of Influence
• Now available in paperback, hardcover, and e-book

WIN A COPY: Enter our drawing to win one of twenty-five copies of Influencer by watching Joseph Grenny discuss the principles of influence at our local TEDX event. To enter, watch the video, leave a comment, and share with others. (One entry per action taken. Winners will be selected and announced June 5.)

What’s New in the Second Edition of Influencer?

• New subtitle
• Updated statistics, facts, and figures
• New research and case studies from organizations like KIPP, Menlo Innovations, Fundación Paraguaya, and others
• Skill applications gleaned from six years of Influencer Training
• “Act Like An Influencer” stories: twenty-five vignette examples of real influencers
• New focus on the three keys of influence: 1) Focus and measure, 2) Find vital behaviors, and 3) Engage all Six Sources of Influence
• Now available in paperback, hardcover, and e-book

Win a copy of the new edition. Watch, comment, and share our video of author Joseph Grenny discussing the power of the influence model to change behavior at our local TEDX event.

We’ll select twenty-five people to receive a FREE copy of the brand new second edition. You’ll receive one entry in our drawing for every action you take (watching, commenting, and sharing).

Enjoy!

April 10, 2013—Provo, UT—Social networks are becoming increasingly hostile, with 78 percent of users reporting rising incivility online and 2 in 5 blocking, unsubscribing or “unfriending” someone over an argument on social media, according to new research from the authors of the New York Times best-seller Crucial Conversations.

The online survey of 2,698 respondents suggests contentious conversations that begin online tend to spill over into real life. The study also indicates that people are generally less polite and tensions often go unresolved on social media. Specific findings include:

• 76 percent have witnessed an argument over social media
• 19 percent have decreased in-person contact with someone because of something they said online
• 88 percent believe people are less polite on social media than in person
• 81 percent say the difficult or emotionally charged conversations they have held over social media remain unresolved

One of the survey respondents, Laura M., is still reeling from a family rift that began in cyberspace. It started innocently enough—her brother posted an embarrassing picture of her sister who asked him to remove it. A full-scale family brouhaha resulted when he not only refused to remove the photo, but instead blasted it out to his entire contact list. Ultimately, Laura’s brother unfriended all of his siblings and has denied in-person contact with them for the past two years and counting.

Another respondent, Laura J., has seen the ripple effects of social media at work. A frustrated co-worker posted a message about wanting to “handle co-workers like we did in the old days,” followed by some descriptive and violent detail. The atmosphere in the office has been tense ever since the post was made a year ago. Ultimately, employees unfriended their colleague and avoid her in the office “for fear she’ll come after [us].”

Joseph Grenny, co-author of Crucial Conversations, says these tensions arise and go unresolved in part because online conversations provide a unique set of challenges that are seldom taken into consideration when people begin typing their frustrations.

“Social media platforms allow us to connect with others and strengthen relationships in ways that weren’t possible before. Sadly, they have also become the default forums for holding high-stakes conversations, blasting polarizing opinions and making statements with little regard for those within screen shot,” says Grenny. “We struggle to speak candidly and respectfully in person, let alone through a forum that allows no immediate feedback or the opportunity to see how our words will affect others.”

And as the research indicates, younger people are four times more likely than Baby Boomers to prefer having these emotionally charged conversations over social media, so the need to learn to effectively communicate online is increasing.

“Social media platforms aren’t the problem, it’s how people are using them that is causing a degradation of dialogue that has potential to destroy our most meaningful personal relationships,” says Grenny.

Grenny offers tips for communicating both candidly and respectfully on social media:

1. Check your motives. Social media hasn’t only changed the way we communicate, it has modified our motives. Ask yourself, “Is my goal to get lots of ‘likes’ (or even provoke controversy)?” or “Do I want healthy dialogue?”
2. Replace hot words. If your goal is to make a point rather than score a point, replace “hot” words that provoke offense with words that help others understand your position. For example, replace “that is idiotic” with “I disagree for the following reasons…”
3. Pause to put emotions in check. Never post a comment when you’re feeling emotionally triggered. Never! If you wait four hours you’re likely to respond differently.
4. Agree before you disagree. It’s fine to disagree, but don’t point out your disagreement until you acknowledge areas where you agree. Often, arguers agree on 80 percent of the topic but create a false sense of conflict when they spend all their time arguing over the other 20 percent.
5. Trust your gut. When reading a response to your post and you feel the conversation is getting too emotional for an online exchange—you’re right! Stop. Take it offline. Or better yet, face-to-face.

About VitalSmarts: An innovator in corporate training and organizational performance, VitalSmarts is home to multiple training offerings, including the award-winning Crucial Conversations®, Crucial Confrontations®, Influencer®, and Change Anything™ Training. Each course improves key organizational outcomes by focusing on high-leverage skills and behavior-change strategies. The Company also has four New York Times best-selling books: Crucial Conversations, Crucial Confrontations, Influencer, and Change Anything. VitalSmarts has consulted with more than 300 of the Fortune 500 companies, trained more than 900,000 people worldwide and been named by Inc. magazine as one of the fastest-growing companies in America for eight consecutive years. www.vitalsmarts.com

Note to editor: Author Joseph Grenny is available for interviews. Copies of Crucial Conversations are available upon request.

About the research: The study collected responses via an online survey tool from 2,698 individuals in February of 2013. Margin of error is approximately 2 percent.

CONTACT: Laura Potter of VitalSmarts, L.C. +1-801-510-7590, or lpotter@vitalsmarts.com.

We’re taking a candid look at how management attempts to influence the bad behavior of employees and how effective these influence efforts are in creating change.

Do any of these behaviors sound familiar in your workplace?

• People make commitments, but don’t take them seriously.
• Coworkers gossip or talk behind each others’ backs, creating cliques.
• When projects fall through, people shift blame instead of taking responsibility.

Please weigh in by taking our 3-minute survey today.

All who complete the survey will receive a free MP3 download from our Influencer Audio Companion. Listen as author Kerry Patterson shares how to increase your influence by making use of vicarious experiences.

Thank you for your continued help in supporting our research efforts!

We’d like to create an e-book on how to best communicate online. The first step requires getting your input. For example, how often do you turn to social networking sites to handle crucial conversations? Do you primarily witness social media communication masters or disasters?

Help us find out by taking this 3-minute survey.

Those who complete the survey will receive the e-book once we’re done compiling the data as well as a free MP3 download from our Crucial Conversations Audio Companion. Listen as author Joseph Grenny shares how adding input to the pool of shared meaning increases our capacity to take unified action.

Thank you for your help!

The UnAccountables are gangs of renegades hiding in nearly every organization across the corporate frontier. Perhaps you’ve come head-to-head with the UnAble, the UnMotivated, the UnDiagnosed—or even all three—a time or two. When you found yourself in a showdown with one of these outlaws, did you know how to hold them accountable?

Watch our new video featuring these bandits and learn more about our new Crucial Accountability Companion Course at www.vitalsmarts.com/unaccountables.

A dear friend and long-time mentor, Stephen R. Covey, died this week. In the coming weeks, many will write about his enormous influence in the business world, in families, and on the international political stage. Rather than add to that well-deserved chorus, I’ll express my personal gratitude and remembrance.

In 1984, I heard Stephen speak at a business conference. His speech opened up a whole new field to me that redirected my professional plans. Prior to that speech, I had never heard of the Organizational Behavior field. I changed the course of my studies, joined him in his fledgling company, and began a career that has enabled me to be part of work that I find immensely meaningful.

In 1990, I left Stephen’s company to begin a new one and to study more carefully how to influence profound and sustainable behavior change in large human systems. While Stephen would have preferred that I stay with his company, he was abundantly generous in wishing me well—and even went out of his way to endorse our work on many occasions. I have no doubt that his foreword to Crucial Conversations was an important part of its success.

Stephen R. Covey has had as great an influence on who I am and what I do as anyone else in the world. His consecrated life, his principle-centered approach to our field, and his fundamental faith that true principles will bear up to scientific scrutiny in organizational success have blessed my life and my work. I thank God for bringing this good man into my life.

- Joseph Grenny, cofounder of VitalSmarts and coauthor of Crucial Conversations