What is the best way to respond to someone who has the habit of dominating conversations? My colleague will not let me finish my sentences, interrupts with an opinion or comment, talks at great length, and often repeats what she already said. I feel hostage to her while she hogs the airwaves. What can I do?
A few months ago, while I was out of town, a colleague aired his grievances against me in a meeting with our new CEO. Two others joined in. This colleague previously reported to me, then was promoted to be my peer. He has been a contentious bully ever since, badmouthing me behind my back. When I returned from my trip, I was called into a meeting with the new CEO and the three who have issues with me. I was blindsided by their allegations. I pushed back very little but have since been stewing to the point of depression. Where should I go from here?
In 1998, my colleagues and I, swept up in the excitement and uncertainty of the dot-com boom, sold our small company to a firm that was madly acquiring training companies with interesting intellectual property. Within two years, the rocket ship we boarded crashed into reality. Suddenly a decade of my life’s work was locked up in a complex bankruptcy. I felt paralyzed and disoriented. For months I was unable to earn money to support my young family, and I suspected everything I had worked for was gone forever. That bankruptcy was a crucial event.
A member of the team I lead is convinced he’s an excellent worker, top performer, and unfairly overlooked for a promotion. The problem is none of that is true, but he refuses to accept this. He sometimes does great work but is inconsistent. He’s also often nowhere to be found, for hours at a time. How do I hold him accountable when his self-perception is so wildly different from reality? I ask all the right questions, but we still go in circles when we talk with me pointing out weaknesses and him claiming perfection.
I have been a legal secretary to a lawyer for more than 18 months. She used to stay on top of things, but recently she has become unmotivated and unresponsive. For example, I prepare letters for her review and deliver them early in the morning, but she doesn’t review them until 30 minutes before I’m due to leave the office, and then she wants me to get the letters sent out. I work full-time and have four children, and I have told her on several occasions that I cannot get letters finished that late in the day as I need to leave. I’ve tried letting her know early in the day what time I will be leaving and the deadline for getting letters to me, yet she continues to send requests at the last minute and then becomes snippy when I tell her I won’t get them done until the next day. I don’t know how to deal with her lack of motivation. What can I do?
Whenever my husband tells me things he doesn’t like that I do, I own it, say I’m sorry, and tell him I am determined to change it. If even ten minutes later I tell him I don’t like something he does, he’ll reply, “We really need to stop criticizing each other!”
I would appreciate it if he would own his behavior and validate my perspective, like I did for him. I feel like I’m trying to do what’s required to have a good relationship, but he doesn’t. What can I do?
I’m the chair of an organization and someone on the board is leaking information. Someone made a derogatory comment about a person in a board meeting, and someone on the board told that person. I have addressed the issue of confidentiality before, so this is a violation of that expectation. Leaks like this undermine board trust and other relationships. How should I approach this?
Leadership is intentional influence. It isn’t the vacuous or mystical thing that so many writers claim. It is a systematic process of influencing human beings to achieve important results. It’s about mobilizing behavior in the service of valued goals. At the end of the day, if behavior isn’t changing, you aren’t leading.
I have a stubborn stepson who refuses to speak with his father. He thinks his father doesn’t love him, which is not so. What can I say to him so he’ll open up?
My mom continuously interrupts me when I’m speaking to her. She’ll sometimes finish my sentences, as if she knows what I’m thinking. Or she’ll start in with something that occurred to her based on something I’ve said. I’ve asked her to please allow me to finish and explained that when she interrupts, I feel disrespected. She didn’t take it well. Since then, I’ve sometimes gently reminded her, “Please, let me finish” and sometimes not so gently said, “How do you know what happened next?” Sometimes I just give up and let her do all the talking. She doesn’t seem to notice that our relationship is becoming, well, not much of a relationship. Any suggestions?
